Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So for today’s article, I thought I’d take a stab at something that I personally have been struggling with lately. Also, I feel like this is something that’s important for any up-and-coming gentleman to hear, whether they’re just getting into the dating scene or have been involved in it for ten years, or even more. The most important thing to remember about love and dating is this: it cannot be forced, it has to happen naturally. Let me explain what I mean by that.
Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So for today’s article, I thought I would take a stab at talking about a subject that has become more and more prominent on the internet as of late: incels. For the uninitiated, incel is a portmanteau of the words involuntary celibate. It’s an online subculture made up of self-defeating men who are single virgins, but not on their own accord. They feel entitled to sex with women, and when they don’t attain it, they blame all of their problems and tribulations on things like modern feminism and social justice, or the idea that women today have become shallow and cruel, only choosing from a small pool of attractive men while leaving the rest in the dust. This op-ed from the Washington Post goes into more detail about it, and I will also be using its sources, so be sure to read the whole thing.
Now that you are aware of what an incel is, that leaves this question: is this a bad, or possibly dangerous ideology? The short answer is yes, of course it is. Now, while I myself have my own criticisms against the modern feminist and social justice movements, and I don’t deny that such movements are creating problems within the realms of dating and marriage, I’m not about to blame them in their entirety for the problems within the dating pool. And as a result, I still advocate for my readers to be what you would call traditional gentleman; be generally stoic, stand up for yourself, keep yourself generally presentable, and simply treat other people like individual human beings who deserve basic human decency. These things are more than likely to land you a siginifcant other and lead to general happiness in life, even with such rapidly shifting social norms. However, many incels take this the exact opposite way. And just so we’re clear, I don’t mean to direct this at every single man who may have trouble on the flirtation/dating front. I realize that there are simply some men out there who are novices in the way of talking to and dating women, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m simply talking about that small subculture of men who blame those problems on those things I mentioned before, and believe they are entitled to sex or, for all intents and purposes, a girlfriend simply because they want it and think sex will lead to their ultimate happiness. And with social media, online forums, and message boards being as prominent as they are, incels are starting to form self-defeating and self-radicalizing communities that can often be escalated to a dangerous level.
A lot of terrible and misogynistic posts and tweets can, more often than not, be attributed to incels online (just get a load of this subReddit). They’ll often say that women are shallow, or that women don’t actually know what they want. It unfortunately doesn’t stop there however. Many incels take it a step further by having rape fantasies or saying that women brought about their own downfall by advocating for the right to vote! It’s truly a disgustingly backwards mindset, that can be and has been taken to a dangerous. At least a plurality of mass shootings and massacres have also been attributed to some incels, and more often than not, other incels may praise these acts and treat these murderers like heroes. This is the level it has reached. Put simply, most incels have a dangerous and backward mindset, and to anyone reading this who may feel themselves falling down that incel rabbit hole, here’s my advice. I get it, rejection can hurt, and for all I know, maybe it can be the woman’s fault and not yours. However, if you do get rejected and are having trouble with dating and flirtation, use it as a chance to see how you can improve instead of blaming the one who rejected you. Also, and I know that this will be a hard pill to swallow, but there will just be those women who won’t be interested in you. The sooner you’re able to accept that, the better.
I’m sorry if this article got so morbid, there’s simply a lot to unpack when it comes to incels. Just be vigilant, stand up for yourself, and strive to be the best you can be, and you’ll be just fine. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!
Afternoon gents! So, I recently read an article from the Odyssey Online called “Why We Need To Start Dating Again.” It was a fantastic article which I’ll include a link to right here
After reading that, I instantly knew it had to become a post on the blog. So today, I’m going to give you four (4) easy steps on how to date more properly. Now, for those of you who saw the video on my YouTube channel about ways to improve your first date, some of those things may apply to this post as well. So without any further ado, let’s start the list!
1. Ask her out in person
Now this applies before the date even starts. Now, in today’s increasingly digital age, it’s easy to just ask the girl you like out on a date over text message, Facebook Message, Snapchat, etc. And it’s because of this that asking someone out to their face is practically unheard of nowadays. But there is a huge problem with this. Without that direct channel, you won’t be able to see her reaction to your proposition! Whether she’s single, taken, or just not currently interested in dating, she will, more often than not, be extremely flattered that you want to date her. And I get it, it can be extremely nerve-wracking, but the worst she can say is no. It’s not the end of the world if she doesn’t want to go out with you. It’s not like she’ll never want to speak to you again, she just doesn’t have those same feelings that you have. (On that note, there’s no such thing as the fabled “friend zone. If she doesn’t want to go out with you, just leave it at that.)
2. Set a time and stick to it
More often that not, all you hear about when someone goes on a date is that the person’s date was late either to meet them at the place or to pick them up (and yes, being “fashionably late”, whatever that means, still counts) . This is a problem not only with dating today, but with people in general. People don’t seem to value punctuality as much as they used to. The best thing when you ask someone out, hopefully in person like I mentioned earlier, you two should establish a time either to meet at wherever you two are planning to go, or for one of you to pick the other one up. You’ll just be asking for trouble if you can’t show up on time.
3. If you pick her up, go to her front door
We’ve all experienced it; someone picking someone else up at their house and them just texting them saying “I’m here.” To those people, I have to ask: what’s wrong with going to their front door? It’s a great way to leave an impression on your date, and it could even be a way to introduce yourself to your date’s parents. Again, I understand. It can be incredibly nerve-wracking, and it could be incredibly awkward, but it’s not the end of the world. So one small aspect of the date is kind of awkward. So what? It’s a date, it’s inevitable that not everything will exactly as planned. Just continue with the date and have fun!
4. Keep conversation colloquial
Up until now, all these tips apply before the actual date starts. But now that you’re out on the date, you need to keep your date engaged while you’re out. Obviously, you’ll have a conversation while you guys are out, but you need to keep what you’re talking about appropriate. You’ll clearly want to avoid any sensitive or controversial topics such as religion or politics, unless you two share similar views on such things, but for the most part, it should be avoided. Just keep things simple; if you guys are both in school, talk to each other about what you’re studying or what classes you’re taking. If you’re both working, talk about your jobs, what you do, or what your schedules look like (which could really help in setting up future dates). Those are just a few examples though. You could talk about your families, your hobbies, your favorite movies, etc. Again, anything except religion and politics.
So there you go! Follow these four (4) steps, and you’ll be on your way to a great date! Don’t worry if things get awkward, just keep it natural and enjoy each other’s company. If you follow these steps, things should go really well between you and your lady friend, and you could even have more dates in the future!
Be sure to follow me on social media and let me know how any of your dates go following these tips. Until next time, this is Max from Men in the Making, and I’ll see you next time!