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Gentleman's Philosophy

How a Gentleman Treats his Girlfriend

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! Today’s article will essentially be a spiritual successor to this one that I wrote a while ago, so if you’d like to check that one out first, feel free to do so! In today’s article, we’ll be looking at how to treat that special lady after the first date. This article will have four (4) tips of how to treat that special girl in your life, whether it’s on a date, or just in general interaction. If you follow these tips, it’s more than possible that you’ll be on your way to her father’s approval as well as a very fruitful relationship. So with out any further delay, let’s get started!

1. Actually pick her up at her front door

In today’s day and age, it’s become all too common for a guy to just pull up to his girl’s house, whip out his phone, and just tell her “I’m here,” prompting her to walk out to the car and then the rest of the date will (ideally) go as planned. While it may be easier and possibly less awkward to go this route, it is the absolute wrong way to go about it. If you actually take the effort to go knock on her door and walk her to your car from there, it shows that you’re willing to put in at least some amount of effort for your date, which she, as well as her family if that’s who you end up meeting at the door, will definitely appreciate. Just one small step can go a long way.

2. Treat your girl as your priority

No matter what activity you choose to do with your girl, it should not change the fact that she should be the priority. The whole point of the date is that you want to spend time with this woman and get to know her. If you want to accomplish that, you have to show her that she’s important to you. That means opening the door for her, letting her speak to you and not monopolizing the conversation, letting her go first with everything (especially since you’ll be the one holding the door, helping her with her coat, and helping her with her seat), treating her like she’s the most important person in the room, and for the love of God, staying off your phone. This could be your future wife you’re spending the day with, you can risk falling behind on what’s happening on Facebook or Instagram for a little bit. Treating your girl as your priority simply shows that you appreciate her and that she’s important to you, which she will absolutely appreciate.

3. Respect her boundaries, as well as your own

In today’s society where sexual morals have seriously been downplayed, this is becoming increasingly more difficult, especially among teenagers once they start dating. However, having some amount of boundaries and standards in a relationship can end up being very healthy for both parties involved, as well as the relationship itself. It teaches both involved to respect each other as human beings, and this is especially true for the man involved. Men by nature typically have a stronger sex drive and will typically have a more casual view of sex than women do. However, your girl may have more strict boundaries than you do. She may not want to go into the bedroom right away or she might want to wait until marriage. There are many different boundaries that women might have and it is absolutely imperative to respect those boundaries. Not only does it keep your own self-control in check and allow you to take command over your own vices, but it will also just make your girl much more comfortable in the relationship. It’s a way of showing her that she can trust you, and it will make her much more comfortable in spending time with you, which will obviously lead to more dates and even something more eternal in the future. It will also help in preserving her honor as well as your own. It shows your girl that you hold her to such a high standard that her honor and her character is worth preserving and protecting. This idea also extends beyond just the sexual aspect of the relationship. If there’s a certain date spot where your date might not be comfortable, avoid going there. If she’s uncomfortable with a certain way you touch her, even if you meant for it to be completely non-sexual, maybe avoid touching her like that. If there’s a certain word she doesn’t like you saying around her, try not to say it around her. On top of all of this, it’s also important for you to have boundaries for yourself. Yes, you as a man may have that more powerful sex drive as I mentioned above, but it does not make you any less of a man for wanting to establish similar sexual standards as your girl. In fact, I would argue it makes you more of a man. It shows that you hold yourself, as well as your girl, to a higher standard and that there’s more to your relationship than just sex. In today’s society where a man will be shamed by his peers for still being a virgin at age twenty-one, that entire aspect of manhood is being completely turned on its head. As important as it is for you to respect your girl’s boundaries, it’s just as important that she respects yours. Respect among the two people involved in a relationship is a two-way street, and if both people feel like their boundaries are being respected, it creates a sense of mutual trust and comfort between them. Of course, none of this is to say that you shouldn’t try to be romantic with your girl or find some unexpected ways to sweep her off her feet. She very well might appreciate those unexpected kisses on the cheek or that spontaneous arrival at her front door with a bouquet of flowers. I’m just trying to say that it’s important to discuss boundaries with your girl, and it’s even more important that you respect those boundaries, as difficult as it may be. Doing so will not only preserve your girl’s honor as well as your own, but it will also save both parties involved from potential heartbreak, embarrassment, and dishonor.

4. Seek the approval of her family

I know this may seem like an archaic or outdated idea for some, but at the end of the day, the people who know your girl the best is her family. They will know what your girl likes and who would be a good fit for her romantically. As a result, essentially everything I’ve been writing about has been leading up to this point. If you pick your girl up for a date by going to her front door, that may give you a chance to meet her family and make an impression on them. If you’re able to show her family that she’s important to you and that you can treat her right, that will make them more likely to approve of you. If you show her family that you can respect her boundaries, that shows her family that you’re capable of defending the honor that they worked so hard to establish. All of these practices and more will help you gain the approval of your girl’s family, and most importantly, her father. There’s an old adage that “the only man a girl can depend on is her daddy”, and while that is becoming more and more outdated as the years go on, there is still a kernel of truth to it. A good father will hopefully be able to instill a sense of morality in his daughter, and he would hope to see that morality manifested in the man his daughter chooses to be with and eventually marry. Of course, that duty does not fall solely on the father, it should also fall on the rest of the family with it being facilitated by the father. Now I know I have avoided a pretty obvious elephant in the room, and I want to address that. Sometimes, a girl may have a strained relationship with her father, or she might not have a father in her life at all. At that point, it would be equally valid to seek approval of the rest of her family, and even the closest father figure she may have in her life. It could be an older brother, an uncle, a grandfather, or any other trusted male figure she might have in her life. The reason that approval from the family is so important is more for the purpose of the long run. If a relationship does eventually lead to marriage, that will mean that not only will the two getting married become one flesh under the vows of matrimony, it will also mean that two families will be joining together as well. Both the bride and groom will essentially be inducted as new members of the other’s family. This would easily imply that if you’re in a relationship with a girl whose family doesn’t like or approve of you for any reason and you end up marrying that girl, you will end up entering into a family that essentially doesn’t want you, which can lead to a whole host of problems on its own. It can sow discord between the bride and her family, it can make you both come to resent each other. In short, gaining the approval of your girl’s family can lead to many wonderful things in the long run, and as important as it is to have, just remember that it’s not just something that’s given to you right off the bat. You have to work for it and you have to show your girl’s family that you’re worthy of their approval. If you want the family’s (and especially the father’s) approval, you have to earn it.

So there it is! Apologies if the last two sections ran a little long, these are subjects that I tend to get very passionate about. These are just a few tips that you can take with you so that you can hopefully have a very healthy, happy, and meaningful relationship. Is there anything that I missed? Are there any other tips you can add that may be good for any gents reading to practice? Make sure you leave them in the comments below or send us an email at younggentlemansguide@gmail.com. You can also leave a comment on our Facebook or Instagram pages if you’d like. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on the aforementioned Facebook and Instagram pages. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

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