Gentleman's Philosophy

How Does a Gentleman Deal With Emotion?

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! Today’s article will be tackling somewhat of a difficult question in today’s social climate; how does a gentleman deal with emotion? There are those who may shame men for being “toxically masculine” because they keep their emotions bottled up and rarely open up emotionally, and then on the opposite side of the spectrum, there are some figures, especially those around the manosphere who claim that showing any amount of emotion for any reason is as weak, feminine, “beta” behavior. Discussions about this subject are all over the place on the Internet, and both sides can end up looking extremely toxic when observed in a vacuum. So today, I’d like to throw my hat into the ring and give my take on how a gentleman should keep his emotions in check. So without any further delay, let’s get started!

It should come as no surprise that emotions run very deep in humans as a species. Our emotions are natural responses to the world around us, and they help us respond and react to danger, difficulty, and hardship. That of course is nothing that a man should be ashamed of, but there is something else that he needs to take into account. Hardship and suffering come part and parcel with human existence, no matter how much people in today’s society try to escape that fact. As harsh as that reality might be, I don’t want this article to just devolve into the typical “life isn’t fair, get used to it” trope. Quite the opposite, I believe the hardship and difficulty that come with human existence can be quite sanctifying experiences. If a man is able to navigate the difficulties and hardships of his life in a brave and stoic way, which often involves holding his emotions close to his chest, he will come out on the other side as a stronger and more disciplined man, and he will be more motivated to face those things in life that may be difficult for him. Don’t misunderstand me, however, none of this is meant to imply that a gentleman should never show any sort of emotion or just be a stone-cold statue for his whole life.

As the old adage goes, there is a time and place for everything, and this applies even more so to a man’s emotional responses. This applies equally to both men and women, but it probably wouldn’t be appropriate for a man to burst into tears in the middle of the workplace or to burst out angrily while walking down the street. There is an appropriate time and place for a man to display and share his emotions, and if he’s constantly going through emotional outbursts in public, many people will see that as a sign of weakness and immaturity. A lot of what I’m saying here actually ties back to what I said in my article about a man surrounding himself with other gentlemen. Being able to have a friend or group of friends to confide in can give a man a chance to open up with his friends and share his emotions with him. They will be there to take pity on you and help you through whatever may be going through. This can also apply to a man’s wife/girlfriend, family, or a therapist if need be. These people are supposed to be there to help a man with whatever he is going through, and being able to share his emotions with those closest to him will make a man more balanced and less likely to perpetually keep his emotions bottled up.

So what exactly am I saying here? To put it simply, how a man deals with his emotions is not as black and white as many people online make it seem. If man is able to go through tough situations and navigate the difficulties of his life while keeping his emotions close to his chest, it can be an edifying and sanctifying experience for him. It allows him to keep his feelings in check, not let his emotions get the better of him, and make rational decisions when the need arises. On the other hand, simply going through life without opening up emotionally at all can lead to an entire host of problems on its own. Engaging with one’s emotions in a controlled, healthy, and  appropriate manner can lead to a man with a much more balanced life and outlook. Having a close group of people that a man can open up with emotionally can provide him with an outlet to share his emotions in such a manner. In summation, I go back to the adage relayed above: there is a time and place for everything.

Apologies if this article didn’t seem as cut and dry as many were looking for. This is a bit of a complicated issue to tackle, and I wanted to make sure I covered it in as much of a balanced and nuanced way as I could. I hope this article gave you some new insights and that it helped you gain a bit of a different perspective than most people see online. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram. On that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!


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