Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So for today’s article, I thought I would take a stab at talking about a subject that has become more and more prominent on the internet as of late: incels. For the uninitiated, incel is a portmanteau of the words involuntary celibate. It’s an online subculture made up of self-defeating men who are single virgins, but not on their own accord. They feel entitled to sex with women, and when they don’t attain it, they blame all of their problems and tribulations on things like modern feminism and social justice, or the idea that women today have become shallow and cruel, only choosing from a small pool of attractive men while leaving the rest in the dust. This op-ed from the Washington Post goes into more detail about it, and I will also be using its sources, so be sure to read the whole thing.
Now that you are aware of what an incel is, that leaves this question: is this a bad, or possibly dangerous ideology? The short answer is yes, of course it is. Now, while I myself have my own criticisms against the modern feminist and social justice movements, and I don’t deny that such movements are creating problems within the realms of dating and marriage, I’m not about to blame them in their entirety for the problems within the dating pool. And as a result, I still advocate for my readers to be what you would call traditional gentleman; be generally stoic, stand up for yourself, keep yourself generally presentable, and simply treat other people like individual human beings who deserve basic human decency. These things are more than likely to land you a siginifcant other and lead to general happiness in life, even with such rapidly shifting social norms. However, many incels take this the exact opposite way. And just so we’re clear, I don’t mean to direct this at every single man who may have trouble on the flirtation/dating front. I realize that there are simply some men out there who are novices in the way of talking to and dating women, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m simply talking about that small subculture of men who blame those problems on those things I mentioned before, and believe they are entitled to sex or, for all intents and purposes, a girlfriend simply because they want it and think sex will lead to their ultimate happiness. And with social media, online forums, and message boards being as prominent as they are, incels are starting to form self-defeating and self-radicalizing communities that can often be escalated to a dangerous level.
A lot of terrible and misogynistic posts and tweets can, more often than not, be attributed to incels online (just get a load of this subReddit). They’ll often say that women are shallow, or that women don’t actually know what they want. It unfortunately doesn’t stop there however. Many incels take it a step further by having rape fantasies or saying that women brought about their own downfall by advocating for the right to vote! It’s truly a disgustingly backwards mindset, that can be and has been taken to a dangerous. At least a plurality of mass shootings and massacres have also been attributed to some incels, and more often than not, other incels may praise these acts and treat these murderers like heroes. This is the level it has reached. Put simply, most incels have a dangerous and backward mindset, and to anyone reading this who may feel themselves falling down that incel rabbit hole, here’s my advice. I get it, rejection can hurt, and for all I know, maybe it can be the woman’s fault and not yours. However, if you do get rejected and are having trouble with dating and flirtation, use it as a chance to see how you can improve instead of blaming the one who rejected you. Also, and I know that this will be a hard pill to swallow, but there will just be those women who won’t be interested in you. The sooner you’re able to accept that, the better.
I’m sorry if this article got so morbid, there’s simply a lot to unpack when it comes to incels. Just be vigilant, stand up for yourself, and strive to be the best you can be, and you’ll be just fine. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!