Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So, it should come as no surprise that the pro-life vs. pro-choice argument is VERY controversial and extremely passionate on both sides, but nonetheless, it’s something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a while. This was also inspired by our admin Mary’s article about the March for Life 2020, so be sure to check that out when you’re done here.
Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! First off, I want to sincerely apologize for being absent for so long. Finishing up school at SF State was absolutely brutal, but now that I’ve graduated, I should have much more time to put up more articles for you all to enjoy! In any case, a few weeks ago, I was listening to a podcast called Deconstructing the Culture with Elisa Steele. I highly recommend checking it out if you’re interested in political and social commentary from a conservative and Biblical perspective. In her thirty-eighth episode, entitled “Real Men”, Mrs. Steele looks over and debunks a ludicrous list of fifteen things to teach young boys, and for the most part, I have to agree with what she has to say. After going through that list, Mrs. Steele encourages her listeners to send her an email with their own list of what to teach young men, so I decided to do just that. I emailed her fifteen rules for gentlemen to teach their sons, and in this article, I’m going to explain each rule one-by-one. Bear in mind that this article is going to be a bit longer than most of my other articles, but I can almost guarantee you that these will go a long way. So before this article turns into a full-length novel, let’s get started!
1. Step up and be a leader when no one else will
This one really should go without saying. Men by nature should be more eager to take on leadership roles, and there may be those times where someone needs to take charge. Not only does taking on leadership positions allow men to grow in their confidence, but it also allows men to learn more about themselves, which will further prepare them to take on more leadership positions or even be fathers later on down the road.
2. There’s a difference between being a leader and being a dictator
As an extension to rule number 1, this is a very small, yet extremely important distinction to make. While both leaders and dictators will likely be giving orders, a true leader will be out with there those he is commanding, assisting them or even protecting them so they can complete the task at hand. While a dictator will also give orders, he will simply watch over those he is commanding and most of the time, not even be out there to assist them.
3. Be assertive, but don’t be the bad guy
This is yet another extension to the first two rules. A true leader will enforce the rules and commands he gives; if not, he wouldn’t even be doing his job properly. But there is a way to enforce said rules without coming across as the bad guy. The best leader will enforce the rules while making it clear that he is not at all above them. If a leader thinks himself to be above the rules, that’s essentially the first step to a dictatorship.
4. It’s not always shameful to back down from a fight
A lot of times, men are encouraged to engage in fights, whether verbal or physical, as a way to prove their manliness, so to speak. However, there are, more often than not, certain times where engaging in a fight simply isn’t worth it. Whether it’s because there’s no changing the mind of the opposition or simply because there’s no chance of winning, some fights are just not worth getting into, and thus there’s no shame in backing down from them. Of course, figuring out which fights may or may not be worth getting into is all up to every man’s instincts; I can’t be the arbiter of which fights are worth getting into.
5. Never be afraid to ask questions
Most men by default like to feel like they’re in charge and that they don’t need help. Of course, there will simply be those times where a man can’t figure something out, and will need to ask a question or ask for help. This is often an area of shame for many men, myself included, but it really shouldn’t be. Asking questions and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Rather, it should be treated as a sign of humility and being willing to learn.
6. Always ask how you can help
Whenever working on a group project in any capacity, there will almost always be a way to help. However, a man should rarely, if ever, wait for a task to be handed or appointed to them. A man should always be on hand to help, and as such, should always ask how they can help with the task at hand.
7. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in, even in the face of being mocked or dismissed
In today’s political and social climate, this seems more relevant than ever. No matter where they stand on the political spectrum, a man will have opponents. And when a man has opinions, he should be prepared to have them challenged at any point. Thus, he should stand up for what he believes in, and not back down if backed into a corner. This doesn’t mean he should be a “yes man” at any point, but we’ll get to that later.
8. More importantly, stand up for those who are important to you
Though there may be some who try to deny it, every man has at least one person who is important to them. It can be a family member, a friend, or a significant other. If such people are important to a man, that man should stand up for them as well as himself in the case of violence, ridicule, and exploitation. Men by nature are protectors, and not being able to stand up for those who are important to them are simply betraying themselves along with those people.
9. Being a champion bodybuilder doesn’t make you a great man
Don’t misunderstand me. Being physically fit is essential to any man’s health, and being able to lift heavy loads can certainly be an important part of his arsenal. However, a man being able to bench press twice his body weight just to say that he can is in no way correlated to his character. Moreover, it doesn’t really serve any purpose unless he plans to use his strength as a way to help people. As much a man should value his health and physical fitness, physical prowess and good character are in no way correlated.
10. There’s never a right time to get married
This one applies later in life to those who are getting ready to tie the knot. There is, of course, no shame in a man waiting for the right person or waiting until being more financially stable, but the fact of the matter is that there will always be risks going in. The best a man can do is make the best-informed decision at the time. But even as well-informed as that decision may be, the risk will always be there, and there will never be that “perfect time” to get married.
11. Blind faith and loyalty will get you nowhere
This is essentially a follow-up to rule number 7. While it is of course important to have things you believe in and people to look up to, it should never spiral down to the point of blind faith and loyalty. A man should always hold his beliefs and those he looks up to to some amount of scrutiny. As much as a man can look up to a certain political figure, it’s important to remember that they are still human. They make mistakes, especially in things that they say, and they should be called on it. And as far as beliefs go, especially religious, it’s perfectly reasonable for a man to have doubts and questions about them. It’s another sign of humility and willingness to learn. Without that scrutiny and ability to question his own beliefs as well as the beliefs of those he looks up to, a man will simply turn into the stereotype of the “yes man” who can’t think for himself or formulate his own opinions.
12. There’s no shame in loss or failure
There’s simply no way around this. Losing and failing are simply inevitable in life. And while things like losing that soccer game, not getting that certain job, or getting passed up for that promotion can certainly hurt, there’s no shame in that as long as an honest effort was put in. In fact, loss and failure is, more often than not, necessary. It can certainly hurt to lose, but a man should use the pain of his loss as the first step of improvement. If a man loses a soccer game, that should be a sign to put more work into his practices and drills. If a man gets passed up for a job promotion, he should use that lost opportunity as a stepping stone to improve his work ethic and figure out what he’s doing wrong. In the words of hall of fame soccer player Cobi Jones. “The road to victory… is paved with losses.”
13. Your virginity and your loss of it should never define you
It essentially seems like a stereotype at this point that high school boys are practically in competition to see who can either get laid first, or get laid the most. And of course, the guy who hasn’t been able to do the horizontal mambo, either because he doesn’t want to, or just has trouble with the opposite sex, is mocked and ridiculed by his peers. This sets a dangerous precedent for young men. It teaches them that being a virgin is something that he should be ashamed of. However, being a virgin, at least by choice, is nothing to be ashamed of, and certainly not what a man should stake his reputation on. It shows that he has enough respect for himself and his body to save such a hard decision for the best time, most likely when he’s in a committed relationship or married.
14. Do what’s right, not what feels good, as hard of a decision as it may be
It’s no secret that when given the choice, people will often go with what makes them feel good, even if it might not be the overall best choice in the long run. It might feel good to have that leftover piece of cake instead of an apple for breakfast, but it will most likely not be the best for a man’s health in the long run. A man may find it more satisfying to leave work just a minute or two early and put off whatever he was working on until the next day, even though he can easily finish it that day and just spare a few minutes into overtime to finish it. With that kind of attitude, it can lead him to do mediocre work or just the bare minimum for his job requirement, instead of putting that extra initiative in that could possibly get him that promotion. Of course, there may be those times where the right decision and the decision that feels good may overlap, but those situations are very few and far between. Most of the time, a man may have to sacrifice what feels good for doing something right.
15. The two words that will take you farther in life than anything else: “Thank you.”
As I’ve said in the past, I believe that gratitude is the greatest quality for a man to have, and I still wholeheartedly stand by that. A man who is grateful for the things he’s been given or has earned, as few as they may be, will be a far happier and more productive person. A man who is grateful to his employer will do everything he can to keep his job. A man who is grateful to his family and friends will undoubtedly create a deeper loving connection with them. A grateful man will be satisfied in what he has earned or has been given, and work even harder to achieve more of it, as opposed to an ungrateful man who believes he’s entitled to certain things for no extra work or effort because he’s unsatisfied with what he has. Essentially, a man should follow this mantra: gratitude leads to satisfaction, satisfaction leads to happiness. Ingratitude leads to entitlement, entitlement leads to bitterness. “Thank you.” Those two small words will take a man farther in life than he could ever realize.
So there it is! Fifteen rules that very gentleman should teach their sons. Apologies for this article being so long, there’s simply a lot of things that every young gentleman should know. Be sure to comment below any other rules you think might be important, or leave any ideas for any future articles In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!
Evening gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! I know you’re probably tired of reading this, but I am so incredibly sorry for the lack of posts on the blog over the past few weeks. Not only was I finishing up with my first semester at San Francisco State which was incredibly stressful, but I also wanted to take a break for Christmas and spend more time with my family. In any case, we should be back to our regular posting schedule after this oddball week of posting (expect a new post from Jonah on Saturday).
So the topic of today’s post is a bit more serious and mature than some of my other posts, so I’m warning you now that this may be a little inappropriate for any younger readers out there, though I doubt we have that many young readers in our audience. Even so, I thought it would be smart to warn you. This vpost was inspired by another video from Prager University, titled Every High School Principal Should Say This. In the video, Mr. Prager himself speaks as if he is a high school principal, and says that if every principal gave the speech he gives in the video, then America would be a much better place. In almost every issue he brings up, I tend to agree, especially with a very small point he makes near the end of the video. At the 4:53 mark in the video, Mr. Prager states that “No more classes will be devoted to condom-wearing, and teaching you to regard sexual relations as no more than a health issue.” This statement, as small and subdued as it was in the video, really struck a chord with me as it brings to light an issue that is all too present at public schools in the US. They teach the youth that they can have as much sex as they please as long as they “use protection” and “stay safe”. This disturbs me to no end. Gents who are reading, if this is all you’ve heard regarding your sexual desires and/or activities, please continue reading because there are some very important things that you need to be told.
Now, I should preface this by saying that yes, I am a virgin, and I intend to stay a virgin until the night I consummate my marriage, call me a Jesus freak. However, being taught about sexual responsibilities from my parents as well as the church has taught me that sex and sexual relations are so much more than a health issue. Now, don’t misunderstand me, there are some very important health issues regarding sex that you should address and be aware of, but the problem is that most public schools only focus on those issues, and nothing else. But here today, I’m here to tell you why that approach to sex is incredibly dangerous.
First and foremost, the primary purpose of sex should be reproduction. I understand that humans are one of only two species on the planet that have sex for pleasure (the other being dolphins if you were curious), but that should not be its only purpose. Sure, it may feel great during and a little bit after the act, but the consequences that are likely to follow are more or less connected to its purpose. People, especially young men, should not be having sex simply because it makes them feel good. Not only can guiltlessly having sex like this lead to things like STIs and unwanted pregnancies in women, which public schools teach in spades, but there are huge moral issues that come with it too. Here is a hypothetical scenario.
Say you take a lady home after a night out and you end up hooking up. After she leaves the next morning, you never speak to her again. You think to yourself “Eh, it was just a one night stand, we can both just forget about it and move on.” You get a text from her a few weeks later, and she tells you that she’s pregnant. Now there’s a slew of questions that run through your head. “Is she going to get an abortion? Is she going to go through with it? If she does, will she want me to raise the child with her? Am I even ready to raise a child?” This can obviously create a lot of stress not just for you, but also the woman you hooked up with. Plus, if the woman decides to have the child out of wedlock, then that can cause an even bigger number of problems for both the mother and the child, even if you stay around to help raise the child. So it’s not just an issue of avoiding STIs. The results of sexual activity can be a huge responsibility for both the man and woman involved. Even if you use protection, said protection is prone to failure, and if it does fail, those responsibilities can quickly show their faces again. And all of this stems from what is possibly the biggest problem surrounding sex today: general sexual ignorance.
Like I said, public schools will try to teach you that the only thing you want to avoid when you have sex is pregnancy and STIs. While avoiding STIs is of course a good thing, teaching people how to avoid pregnancy shows a huge problem that young people have today: they’re having sex while not being ready to accept the results of it. People are having sex while not being anywhere near ready to have or raise children. Why even have sex then? Like I said, even if you use protection while casually having sex, that protection may not always work. And since you weren’t ready to accept the responsibilities of sex, hence why you used protection in the first place, your life just became much more stressful and difficult. And let’s not forget that the schools are also teaching people that having sex outside of marriage is perfectly fine, again, if you use protection.
Please don’t misunderstand me. If you choose to have sex outside of marriage, I’m ok with that as long as you’re smart about it. However, there have been multiple studies to show that married couples not only have more sex, but have more satisfaction in their sexual lives than unmarried partners. And not only that, but both sides of a married couple are less likely to contract STIs. On top of that, married couples are generally more prepared to raise children, and as a result, a child raised by two biological parents is significantly more likely to do better in school, graduate college, and raise a family of his or her own.
So to make a long story short, the responsibilities of sex go beyond just the issue of STIs, despite what public schools may have you believe. This is what Mr. Prager was trying to say in regards to sexual education in schools in the PragerU video. So gents, whether it’s a one night stand or a meaningful relation with a long-term partner, ask yourself these two questions: Am I willing and/or planning to marry or already married to this person? Am I ready to raise a child and a family? If your answer to either of those questions is “no”, then I would advise you to NOT have sex with her.
Apologies for how long-winded this post was or how harsh it may seem, this issue just really gets under my skin. Thank you to Dennis Prager and Prager University for giving me inspiration to write this. This is in no way sponsored by them or anything, I just thought their video served as the perfect basis for what I wanted to say. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!