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Gentleman's Philosophy Manly Skills

Be Assertive, don’t be the Bad Guy

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today’s article is going to be another expansion on one of my 15 Rules to Teach your Sons (I imagine there will more than a few more of these in the future since I feel like I can get a lot more material out of that list). In any case, this article is going to talk about one of the most effective ways to be a good leader. This will more clearly explain the phrase, “be assertive, but don’t be the bad guy.” This was always something I heard from my dad while I was the Senior Patrol Leader with my Boy Scout troop, and it’s something that’s stuck with me to this day. So today, I’m going to elaborate more on what that phrase means and how to properly apply it to any leadership position any of you reading may hold in your life.

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Gentleman's Philosophy

One Sad Result of Capitalism

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today’s article is sort of going against the grain of what I normally post, but this is something that I’ve been wanting to talk about for a long time, and I feel like this is the best place to do it. Now before I continue, I must address that I actually favor and advocate for free-market capitalism as much as the next guy. It may have its flaws, but I believe it’s a fair and sound economic ideology that has done an inordinate amount of good for the societies where it has been implemented. But as with any good thing, there will be people out there who try to exploit it, and that leads quite nicely into the meat of this article.

As much of a proponent as I am for capitalism, it pains me to say that its implementation in American society has led to a serious degradation and stagnation in the world of music. Of course, anyone who knows me knows that I love music, so it brings me no pleasure to say this. Instead of powerful, emotional, and experimental masterpieces like Gabrieli’s Sacrae Symphoniae, Mozart’s Magic Flute, Debussy’s Clair de Lune, Wagner’s Ring Cycle, and others, we have the repetitive, recycled, uninspired droll of artists like Ariana Grande, Post Malone, and Katy Perry, among others. And I’m not just talking the simple harmonic structures, though that can certainly be a contributing factor. Even with jazz, classic rock, and R&B, as simple as the structures of those styles can be, many artists back in the day were still able to implement some form of experimentation, whether it be in the form of improvisation, instrumental choices, or storytelling through the music and lyrics. Artists like Miles Davis dabbled in and was a pioneer of multiple different jazz styles, Bob Seger told very deep and heartfelt stories through his lyrics, and the members of The Who were able to write a surreal messiah story in the form of Tommy. Nowadays, most modern pop artists seem to just seem to be the masters of mundane. They wrote mundane songs with mundane structures about mundane subjects. So many of today’s modern hits are just songs about subjects that have been done to death; broken relationships, heartbreak, sex, love, or even just everyday life. While there have obviously been countless songs about all these subjects in the past, artists in the past would often use those subjects to tell a deeper story or have a deeper moral. Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely was written as a heartwarming ode to his daughter. Bob Seger’s The Fire Inside, for as simple as its chord and harmonic sequence is, is a heartfelt tale about the struggles of finding love and how the pain and memory of love lost never really leave you. Many songs by the Beatles utilized unorthodox chord progressions and key changes that kept listeners interested from start to finish. And of course, there’s the entire treasure trove of classical music with its multitude of stories, emotion, and themes. Nowadays, however, many pop artists are just expected to write simple, repetitive, and mundane songs to please the masses. I don’t entirely blame the artists for this, however. I believe it’s mostly the fault of their producers, which leads me to believe this is the result of capitalism.

One of the core tenets of capitalism is the concept of supply and demand. While the details of both supply and demand are entirely too complex for an article like this, the basics of it is that if there is a high demand for a product, those who own the business will need to continue putting out said product to meet the demand. This is exactly the way the music industry works. These young, marginally talented artists are being picked up by major record labels and music producers just as a means to sell more of their music in order to meet the demand of the people, and as a result, make more and more money. While this kind of business model is perfectly understandable and seems just fine on the surface, it has unfortunately led to a complete stagnation of creativity and experimentation. On top of that, it’s not even important to these producers that artists are even talented, all that’s important to them is that they’re marketable. This had let to not only stagnation in musical creativity, but also on a reliance on lip-syncing and autotuning, meaning the artists who are supposedly playing a singing these songs don’t even need to actually have musical talent. Now, none of this is to say that there is zero musical creativity out there today. There are a number of independent and self-produced artists out there who I’m sure would appreciate as much support as they can get. What bothers is me is that these modern, over-marketed pop artists are what most people are exposed to. It’s what’s played on the radio, in department stores, on TV, and anywhere else that allows it to be heard by the masses. And because it’s so often heard by so many people, it makes them think that music like that is the pinnacle of musical talent, and they’ll never be able to appreciate the genuine talent that many unheard artists, musicians, and composers actually have.

Apologies if this turned into such a downer, this subject just really gets under my skin. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

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Gentleman's Philosophy

Incels: A Dangerous Ideology

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So for today’s article, I thought I would take a stab at talking about a subject that has become more and more prominent on the internet as of late: incels. For the uninitiated, incel is a portmanteau of the words involuntary celibate. It’s an online subculture made up of self-defeating men who are single virgins, but not on  their own accord. They feel entitled to sex with women, and when they don’t attain it, they blame all of their problems and tribulations on things like modern feminism and social justice, or the idea that women today have become shallow and cruel, only choosing from a small pool of attractive men while leaving the rest in the dust. This op-ed from the Washington Post goes into more detail about it, and I will also be using its sources, so be sure to read the whole thing.

Now that you are aware of what an incel is, that leaves this question: is this a bad, or possibly dangerous ideology? The short answer is yes, of course it is. Now, while I myself have my own criticisms against the modern feminist and social justice movements, and I don’t deny that such movements are creating problems within the realms of dating and marriage, I’m not about to blame them in their entirety for the problems within the dating pool. And as a result, I still advocate for my readers to be what you would call  traditional gentleman; be generally stoic, stand up for yourself, keep yourself generally presentable, and simply treat other people like individual human beings who deserve  basic human decency. These things are more than likely to land you a siginifcant other and lead to general happiness in life, even with such rapidly shifting social norms. However, many incels take this the exact opposite way. And just so we’re clear, I don’t mean to direct this at every single man who may have trouble on the flirtation/dating front. I realize that there are simply some men out there who are novices in the way of talking to and dating women, and that’s perfectly fine. I’m simply talking about that small subculture of men who blame those problems on those things I mentioned before, and believe they are entitled to sex or, for all intents and purposes, a girlfriend simply because they want it and think sex will lead to their ultimate happiness. And with social media, online forums, and message boards being as prominent as they are, incels are starting to form self-defeating and self-radicalizing communities that can often be escalated to a dangerous level.

A lot of terrible and misogynistic posts and tweets can, more often than not, be attributed to incels online (just get a load of this subReddit). They’ll often say that women are shallow, or that women don’t actually know what they want. It unfortunately doesn’t stop there however. Many incels take it a step further by having rape fantasies or saying that women brought about their own downfall by advocating for the right to vote! It’s truly a disgustingly backwards mindset, that can be and has been taken to a dangerous. At least a plurality of mass shootings and massacres have also been attributed to some incels, and more often than not, other incels may praise these acts and treat these murderers like heroes. This is the level it has reached. Put simply, most incels have a dangerous and backward mindset, and to anyone reading this who may feel themselves falling down that incel rabbit hole, here’s my advice. I get it, rejection can hurt, and for all I know, maybe it can be the woman’s fault and not yours. However, if you do get rejected and are having trouble with dating and flirtation, use it as a chance to see how you can improve instead of blaming the one who rejected you. Also, and I know that this will be a hard pill to swallow, but there will just be those women who won’t be interested in you. The sooner you’re able to accept that, the better.

I’m sorry if this article got so morbid, there’s simply a lot to unpack when it comes to incels. Just be vigilant, stand up for yourself, and strive to be the best you can be, and you’ll be just fine. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

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Gentleman's Philosophy

15 Rules for Gentlemen to Teach Their Sons

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! First off, I want to sincerely apologize for being absent for so long. Finishing up school at SF State was absolutely brutal, but now that I’ve graduated, I should have much more time to put up more articles for you all to enjoy! In any case, a few weeks ago, I was listening to a podcast called Deconstructing the Culture with Elisa Steele. I highly recommend checking it out if you’re interested in political and social commentary from a conservative and Biblical perspective. In her thirty-eighth episode, entitled “Real Men”, Mrs. Steele looks over and debunks a ludicrous list of fifteen things to teach young boys, and for the most part, I have to agree with what she has to say. After going through that list, Mrs. Steele encourages her listeners to send her an email with their own list of what to teach young men, so I decided to do just that. I emailed her fifteen rules for gentlemen to teach their sons, and in this article, I’m going to explain each rule one-by-one. Bear in mind that this article is going to be a bit longer than most of my other articles, but I can almost guarantee you that these will go a long way. So before this article turns into a full-length novel, let’s get started!

1. Step up and be a leader when no one else will

This one really should go without saying. Men by nature should be more eager to take on leadership roles, and there may be those times where someone needs to take charge. Not only does taking on leadership positions allow men to grow in their confidence, but it also allows men to learn more about themselves, which will further prepare them to take on more leadership positions or even be fathers later on down the road.

2. There’s a difference between being a leader and being a dictator

As an extension to rule number 1, this is a very small, yet extremely important distinction to make. While both leaders and dictators will likely be giving orders, a true leader will be out with there those he is commanding, assisting them or even protecting them so they can complete the task at hand. While a dictator will also give orders, he will simply watch over those he is commanding and most of the time, not even be out there to assist them.

3. Be assertive, but don’t be the bad guy

This is yet another extension to the first two rules. A true leader will enforce the rules and commands he gives; if not, he wouldn’t even be doing his job properly. But there is a way to enforce said rules without coming across as the bad guy. The best leader will enforce the rules while making it clear that he is not at all above them. If a leader thinks himself to be above the rules, that’s essentially the first step to a dictatorship.

4. It’s not always shameful to back down from a fight

A lot of times, men are encouraged to engage in fights, whether verbal or physical, as a way to prove their manliness, so to speak. However, there are, more often than not, certain times where engaging in a fight simply isn’t worth it. Whether it’s because there’s no changing the mind of the opposition or simply because there’s no chance of winning, some fights are just not worth getting into, and thus there’s no shame in backing down from them. Of course, figuring out which fights may or may not be worth getting into is all up to every man’s instincts; I can’t be the arbiter of which fights are worth getting into.

5. Never be afraid to ask questions

Most men by default like to feel like they’re in charge and that they don’t need help. Of course, there will simply be those times where a man can’t figure something out, and will need to ask a question or ask for help. This is often an area of shame for many men, myself included, but it really shouldn’t be. Asking questions and asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Rather, it should be treated as a sign of humility and being willing to learn.

6. Always ask how you can help

Whenever working on a group project in any capacity, there will almost always be a way to help. However, a man should rarely, if ever, wait for a task to be handed or appointed to them. A man should always be on hand to help, and as such, should always ask how they can help with the task at hand.

7. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in, even in the face of being mocked or dismissed

In today’s political and social climate, this seems more relevant than ever. No matter where they stand on the political spectrum, a man will have opponents. And when a man has opinions, he should be prepared to have them challenged at any point. Thus, he should stand up for what he believes in, and not back down if backed into a corner. This doesn’t mean he should be a “yes man” at any point, but we’ll get to that later.

8. More importantly, stand up for those who are important to you

Though there may be some who try to deny it, every man has at least one person who is important to them. It can be a family member, a friend, or a significant other. If such people are important to a man, that man should stand up for them as well as himself in the case of violence, ridicule, and exploitation. Men by nature are protectors, and not being able to stand up for those who are important to them are simply betraying themselves along with those people.

9. Being a champion bodybuilder doesn’t make you a great man

Don’t misunderstand me. Being physically fit is essential to any man’s health, and being able to lift heavy loads can certainly be an important part of his arsenal. However, a man being able to bench press twice his body weight just to say that he can is in no way correlated to his character. Moreover, it doesn’t really serve any purpose unless he plans to use his strength as a way to help people. As much a man should value his health and physical fitness, physical prowess and good character are in no way correlated.

10. There’s never a right time to get married

This one applies later in life to those who are getting ready to tie the knot. There is, of course, no shame in a man waiting for the right person or waiting until being more financially stable, but the fact of the matter is that there will always be risks going in. The best a man can do is make the best-informed decision at the time. But even as well-informed as that decision may be, the risk will always be there, and there will never be that “perfect time” to get married.

11. Blind faith and loyalty will get you nowhere

This is essentially a follow-up to rule number 7. While it is of course important to have things you believe in and people to look up to, it should never spiral down to the point of blind faith and loyalty. A man should always hold his beliefs and those he looks up to to some amount of scrutiny. As much as a man can look up to a certain political figure, it’s important to remember that they are still human. They make mistakes, especially in things that they say, and they should be called on it. And as far as beliefs go, especially religious, it’s perfectly reasonable for a man to have doubts and questions about them. It’s another sign of humility and willingness to learn. Without that scrutiny and ability to question his own beliefs as well as the beliefs of those he looks up to, a man will simply turn into the stereotype of the “yes man” who can’t think for himself or formulate his own opinions.

12. There’s no shame in loss or failure

There’s simply no way around this. Losing and failing are simply inevitable in life. And while things like losing that soccer game, not getting that certain job, or getting passed up for that promotion can certainly hurt, there’s no shame in that as long as an honest effort was put in. In fact, loss and failure is, more often than not, necessary. It can certainly hurt to lose, but a man should use the pain of his loss as the first step of improvement. If a man loses a soccer game, that should be a sign to put more work into his practices and drills. If a man gets passed up for a job promotion, he should use that lost opportunity as a stepping stone to improve his work ethic and figure out what he’s doing wrong. In the words of hall of fame soccer player Cobi Jones. “The road to victory… is paved with losses.

13. Your virginity and your loss of it should never define you

It essentially seems like a stereotype at this point that high school boys are practically in competition to see who can either get laid first, or get laid the most. And of course, the guy who hasn’t been able to do the horizontal mambo, either because he doesn’t want to, or  just has trouble with the opposite sex, is mocked and ridiculed by his peers. This sets a dangerous precedent for young men. It teaches them that being a virgin is something that he should be ashamed of. However, being a virgin, at least by choice, is nothing to be ashamed of, and certainly not what a man should stake his reputation on. It shows that he has enough respect for himself and his body to save such a hard decision for the best time, most likely when he’s in a committed relationship or married.

14. Do what’s right, not what feels good, as hard of a decision as it may be

It’s no secret that when given the choice, people will often go with what makes them feel good, even if it might not be the overall best choice in the long run. It might feel good to have that leftover piece of cake instead of an apple for breakfast, but it will most likely not be the best for a man’s health in the long run. A man may find it more satisfying to leave work just a minute or two early and put off whatever he was working on until the next day, even though he can easily finish it that day and just spare a few minutes into overtime to finish it. With that kind of attitude, it can lead him to do mediocre work or just the bare minimum for his job requirement, instead of putting that extra initiative in that could possibly get him that promotion. Of course, there may be those times where the right decision and the decision that feels good may overlap, but those situations are very few and far between.  Most of the time, a man may have to sacrifice what feels good for doing something right.

15. The two words that will take you farther in life than anything else: “Thank you.”

As I’ve said in the past, I believe that gratitude is the greatest quality for a man to have, and I still wholeheartedly stand by that. A man who is grateful for the things he’s been given or has earned, as few as they may be, will be a far happier and more productive person. A man who is grateful to his employer will do everything he can to keep his job. A man who is grateful to his family and friends will undoubtedly create a deeper loving connection with them. A grateful man will be satisfied in what he has earned or has been given, and work even harder to achieve more of it, as opposed to an ungrateful man who believes he’s entitled to certain things for no extra work  or effort because he’s unsatisfied with what he has. Essentially, a man should follow this mantra: gratitude leads to satisfaction, satisfaction leads to happiness. Ingratitude leads to entitlement, entitlement leads to bitterness. “Thank you.” Those two small words will take a man farther in life than he could ever realize.

So there it is! Fifteen rules that very gentleman should teach their sons. Apologies for this article being so long, there’s simply a lot of things that every young gentleman should know. Be sure to comment below any other rules you think might be important, or leave any ideas for any future articles In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share the article, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on FacebookTwitter, and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

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Gentleman's Philosophy

The 1950s: The Greatest Generation for Families

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So I’ve made it abundantly clear that I love just about anything having to do with the 1950s. The cars, the music, the fashion, and probably my favorite thing, the emphasis on the family! I’ve also made it just as clear that I was born and raised in a traditional family, with both biological parents still married and living under the same roof. And of course, in the 1950s, a traditional family like that was essentially the norm, not the exception as it seems to be today. Now, I’m not going to act like everything in the 1950s was all sunshine and rainbows, but it has been shown to be a generally happier time. And while that can be attributed to any number of reasons, it’s my firm belief that the biggest reason is that traditional family values were a huge emphasis in American society. I’ve stated many times that I’m a huge advocate for traditional family values because said values are what’s important to every single member of the family. Protest or undermine them all you want, but traditional family values and gender roles are what’s best for society. Children who are raised with both biological parents living under the same roof are less likely to commit crime, drop out of high school, and live in poverty. Women who are housewives and stay-at-home moms have consistently been shown to be happier and more satisfied with their lives. And most importantly for our readers, a man who works to provide for his family is taught some of the most important things in his life: responsibility, leadership, work ethic, and how to care for others. And what era had the greatest emphasis on all of these things? The 1950s!

1950s Post 2

The 1950s were a time where men acted like men, women acted like women, and children acted like children. It sounds like a far cry from today where people are aiming to not have any differences between any of those three things. Not only that, but as of 2014, approximately 24% of children grew up in fatherless homes, and it’s likely that percentage has increased in four (4) years. That’s more than twice as high as that rate in 1960, 11%. The value of the family is being dangerously undermined in our current year 2018. With modern social justice and universities trying to teach young people, especially women, that marriage and starting a family is obsolete, I’m hoping we can go back to the 1950s. If a woman wanted to try to call out someone for advocating being a sexist or a bigot for just arguing common sense and science, she might ask him “Why don’t we just go back to the 1950s?” But is someone were to ask me that right now, I would say “Yes, we should. Because life was better back then for men, women, and children. Sure racial relations weren’t the best, and we were slightly worried about nuclear armageddon, but people were happier. Men were real men, women were real women, and the family was going strong. I wish families today were as strong as they were back in that day. Families are the cornerstone of a prosperous society, and the 1950s had that in troves. Plus everything in general was just better back then. The cars, the music, the movies, and especially the government and economy.” Sorry for rambling there, but hopefully I got my point across. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s post. Please be sure to share the post, follow the blog, and follow The Young Gentleman’s Guideon Facebook and Instagram. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!