Categories
Gentleman's Philosophy

Gratitude: A Gentleman’s Greatest Quality

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! First of all, my sincerest apologies for not putting anything out for the past few weeks. I was caught in the darkest pits of finals at San Francisco State, but now that school’s out, I should be back to posting regularly for you wonderful readers! With all of that out of that out of the way, let’s get to today’s topic.

For starters, why is gratitude so important? Well, in short, it just makes us happier. Gratitude leads to satisfaction, and satisfaction leads to happiness. Here’s an example of what I mean.

Two men working a decently-paying office job get their paychecks at the end of the week. After getting their checks, one man says to himself “I earned this, this is a testament to a job well done. Maybe if I work harder, I can make a bit more and maybe get a promotion.” However, the other man says “This is all I made? With the amount I’ve done for this company, I clearly deserve more than this.” What’s the difference between the two? The first man was grateful for what he had earned, which made him satisfied with the work he had done, and that will, in turn, make him happier not just at work, but in the rest of his life if he continues that attitude. The second man obviously felt entitled for more money than he earned, which only angered him, and that’s the biggest reason why gratitude is so important. If you take the time to appreciate what you have and what you earn, you’ll get more satisfaction out of them and therefore will be more happy as a result. Whereas an ungrateful will only demand more and be unsatisfied with what they already have. Unfortunately, with today’s increasingly materialistic attitude and increased feelings of victimhood, people in general are leaning more towards the latter.

It’s impossible to deny, people in general (at least in the U.S.) just have an increased idea that they’re victims, and multiple different activist groups will are trying to convince the mass public that they’re victims of patriarchy, white privilege, or any of that nonsense. And it’s very clear to see where this narrative comes from, and that’s ingratitude. Now I am in no way saying that every single person in any of these activist groups acts this way, it’s just that they are the most vocal minority and the ones who get the most attention. In any case, the people who spew this narrative simply refuse to or just simply can’t see how lucky they actually are, and as a result, they are unsatisfied with everything they’ve already been given (it’s practically become a joke that SJWs will never be satisfied). And I’m just going to stop here, since this is becoming much more political than I was planning it to be. In short, just keep in mind this mantra: gratitude leads to satisfaction, satisfaction leads to happiness. Ingratitude leads to entitlement, entitlement leads to anger.

So there it is. Gratitude, in my eyes, is the greatest key to happiness in anyone’s life. To any of you gents reading, ust take a little bit a time to acknowledge what you have and how lucky you are to have such things. If you do that, then I guarantee you that you will be much happier down the road. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share it, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. Also, keep an eye out for a collaboration between me and my dear friend Elena, the owner of A Vintage Athenian. She’ll be interviewing me for an article on her blog that I’ll reblog here once it’s up. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

Categories
Love/Relationships

Can a Man and a Woman be Friends?

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! Now we’ve all heard of it and I’m willing to bet more than a handful of you gents reading have been there before, I’m talking about the dreaded “friend zone.” For those of you who don’t know what that is, I think Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends puts it best: “When a girl decides that you’re her friend, you’re no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.” Essentially, the “friend zone” is a situation where one side wants to be involved romantically, while the other wants to just stay friends, usually with the guy wanting to take things further. While it is more common for this to happen to men, I’m sure it happens among women too, it just isn’t as frequent and/or talked about. In any case, this leads to an interesting question among those who are in that dreaded situation, can a man and a woman just be friends? So that’s what we’re setting out to answer today.

If the message of the movie When Harry Met Sally is to be believed, then no, it’s pretty much impossible for a man and a woman to be just friends. However, I feel like this movie takes a very simplistic look at the relationship between a man and a woman (which is in no way meant to talk ill about the movie, I love it a lot, and highly recommend you check it out). They make seem as if a man and woman will automatically think about each other romantically if they start to connect on a personal level. While this may be true for that certain person you happen to find attractive, you can still connect with that man or woman without thinking about them romantically or sexually. The most important thing here is communication. It obviously shouldn’t be right after meeting each other, but you should both let each other know early on what your intentions are before getting too involved. If you aren’t effective in stating what you want out of the relationship, this can obviously create a huge problem. In order to best explain this, I’ll have to tell you my “friend zone” story.

When I was in seventh grade, I was not very well-liked by about half the girls in my school’s student body for reasons that aren’t really relevant to this story. In any case, there was one girl, we’ll call her M, who was one of the few girls who actually stood up for me and felt some sort of sympathy for what I was going through. Because of this, she and I quickly formed a connection. And I’m not joking when I say I actually fell in love with her practically at first sight, but at the time, I didn’t know what that actually felt like. Despite not knowing how I felt, we continued to bond in friendship into high school, and I even ended up taking her to her first high school dance! She also invited me to her 16th birthday party, where there was in fact dancing, and M’s parents actually wanted me to share the first dance with her. It was during that first dance that I finally realized how I felt about her, but I didn’t have the nerve to tell her. We had been friends for so long, but I had no idea if she saw me in the same way I saw her, and I didn’t want to risk jeopardizing our friendship over that. So for the next few years, I was just stuck. I constantly was wanting more out of our relationship, but she just wanted to stay friends, and it was horrible. After years of keeping those emotions bottled up, I finally wrote a letter to her when we were both in college that spilled the beans. After finally telling her how I felt in that letter, that’s when the reality of the situation hit me. I finally came to the realization that she just didn’t see me in that way, and after talking to her a little bit more about that, I eventually came to accept it. Now M and I are now just friends and still talk every now and then.

So if there’s anything you can take from that, it should be that you should be clear about your intentions when you enter into a friendship with a woman, especially if you want to take things further. Though to be fair, I think my situation was a bit more complicated since I didn’t even know how I felt at the time. In spite of all of this, however, something else I haven’t mentioned is that you can connect with a woman without being attracted to them sexually. Maybe you and this woman have things in common, but there may just be that thing that keeps you from being attracted to them in that way. That said, I am in no way the arbiter of what people are attracted to, that’s entirely up to you. Just listen to your gut and make the smartest decision. Also, in the vain of all of this, I think it’d be smart to answer a similar question: can you be friends with an ex? The short answer is yes you can! As long as your breakup wasn’t toxic and didn’t leave any negative air between the two of you, then by all means, continue to connect and be friends. I was in a relationship with someone for almost a year in high school, but after a while, we just started to drift apart and we decided to end it, but our breakup wasn’t anything toxic and was perfectly amicable. And to this day, we’re still good friends, and she’s in fact now married with a kid on the way!

So what exactly am I saying here? In a nutshell, yes, a man and a woman can just be friends, as long as both the people involved in the friendship are clear with each other about each other’s intentions. There may just be those people who may not be sexually attracted to you, and that’s perfectly fine. Developing connections and friendships is what helps humans survive, and it’s perfectly possible to develop those connections with the opposite sex without being attracted to them sexually. In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share it, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

Categories
Gentleman's Philosophy

What Can a Gentleman Like and Not Like?

Afternoon gents, it’s Max from the Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today, I’m going to talk about part of what truly makes a man a man. Let me ask you this: what makes a man a man? If you were to ask a hundred different people, you’d likely get a hundred different answers. If you were to ask me, I would say that a true man is assertive, confident, a strong leader, and is able to stand up for himself. On top of that, a true man is someone who’s agreeable, helpful, trustworthy, and respectful to those who respect him. With this in mind, I’d like to bring up something that many will say is tied to masculinity, what a man can or can’t like or find enjoyment in. Also,  before we get started, I just want to wish a very happy birthday to my dear friend The Vintage Athenian! She has been one of my biggest supporters for a long time, and I feel like this is the least I could so for her. So if you like, go ahead and hop over to her Instagram and wish her a happy, happy birthday, and tell her The Young Gentleman’s Guide sent you! Also, feel free to follow her if you want!

Categories
Love/Relationships

The Art of the First Date

Morning gents, Max here! A new post on The Classy Libertarian by yours truly just went up this morning. Please be sure to read it, share it, do whatever you need to do. Keep an eye out for a new article here on Saturday!

Categories
Love/Relationships

A Real Man Makes People Laugh

Evening gents, it’s Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide here! So today, we have yet another article inspired by a video from Prager University. In this video, entitled Love Needs Laughs, the famous (or infamous, depending on how you look at it) Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff talks about how the biggest sign of happiness in any relationship is shared laughter. It’s a wonderful and rather heartwarming video that I highly recommend you check out. And with Smirnoff’s words in mind, I thought I would give you a few reasons why being able to make people laugh is such an important trait for any gentleman to have. So without any further delay, let’s check out the list!

1. It Helps People Stay Positive

There’s a reason one of the longest-running TV shows of all time is Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s South Park. While a lot of naysayers see it as just lowbrow, immature humor, the show, and more specifically Stone and Parker, have proven to be extremely clever and effective social satirists and commentators. And nowhere is that more apparent in the Season 5 episode “Osama bin Laden Has Farty Pants.” The reason I mention this episode is because it clearly displays the importance of laughter in general. Most of what I’m about to say is actually credited to the popular YouTube film reviewer Nostalgia Critic, so I am not about to take credit for any of it. That being said, in the wake of 9/11 and the anthrax epidemic being sent through the mail in late 2001, the United States was in a state of abject fear. As a response to this, Matt Stone and Trey Parker released this South Park episode, making Osama bin Laden look like a completely pathetic tool. After this episode was released, the US’s spirits were collectively raised, as temporary as it may have been. The reason being that everyone just needed a good laugh at the entire situation. And that’s the power of laughter. It could be the most awful, distressful situation ever, like in the case of 9/11, being worried about the threat of terrorism. But if you’re able to find humor in that situation, and thus react to it, it can simply help lift people’s spirits and reduce the pain of the situation even just a little bit. And with so many dark things happening in our world today, being able to make people laugh seems more important now than ever. Also, in the case of 9/11, I think the Nostalgia Critic put it best: “Giuliani showed us we needed to be strong, Letterman showed us we needed to cry, South Park showed us we needed to laugh.”

2. It’s a great way to bond with people

People always say laughter is the best medicine, and there’s a lot of truth to that. Not only has laughter been proven to lower blood pressure and decrease stress hormones, but it can also just help people bond with each other. This can be especially helpful in a romantic situation. I’ve always said that one thing I always look for in a woman is someone who can laugh at me and make fun of me, but in a fun, loving way. I feel like that’s one of the most important things to do in any relationship, romantic or not. If you and your lady able to notice and, more importantly, laugh at each others’ flaws or missteps, it will only help both of you more clearly see what you both love about each other. Obviously, acknowledging what you love about each other will only strengthen your relationship, but it doesn’t just stop there. One point that Yakov Smirnoff makes in the PragerU video is that it’s not just laughter that strengthens a relationship, but shared laughter. If you and the people you care about can find laughter and enjoyment in similar things, that can strengthen your relationship with anybody, it could be a significant other, a friend, or a family member, because you find what you have in common. It would obviously be hard to bond with somebody you don’t have many things in common with, and of course, that can be the death of any relationship, especially a romantic one. And what we find funny and find enjoyment in is the clearest way of showing what we like and what we don’t like, and if someone we know also finds those things funny, that can be a sign of a great relationship. So if you’re spending time with someone and you aren’t laughing at or with each other, it may time to evaluate you’re relationship, especially if it’s romantic.

So there it is! I know this list wasn’t a very long one, but that’s really all I needed to get my point across. A man who can make people laugh can raise people’s spirits and foster many a strong friendship. To me, those are among the most important things a man should strive to accomplish in his life. Thank you all so much for reading today’s article! I know things with my schedule have been a little odd, but for those of you who read my updates article (link right here if you missed it), I should be back to a consistent schedule starting now. Also, be sure to keep an eye out for any content I have coming out on The Classy Libertarian In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading today’s article. Please be sure to share it, follow the blog, follow The Young Gentleman’s Guide on Facebook and Instagram, and support us on Patreon. And on that note, this is Max from The Young Gentleman’s Guide, and I’ll see you next time!

Resources

Prager University – Love Needs Laughs: https://youtu.be/4qfum5vc4Ew

StopDoingNothing:  stopdoingnothing.com/healthy-living/the-five-most-important-reasons-to-laugh/

Top 11 South Park Episodes – Nostalgia Critic: https://youtu.be/qyZacZPzOS8